Taming of the Shrew

Note: I really hope my transparency does not offend or scare any of you! I am just being open and honest in my struggles as a wife who is still BECOMING all that God designed her to be! :)The thing about me and my temper (as far as dealing with my husband) , I can turn on a dime. I mean he just has to say one seemingly innocent comment, and it can trigger a emotional hurricane in me that would scare the most daring of storm chasers! If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you are aware of my Dark Phoenix side. Honestly, that character in X-Men really does explain what I mean. I mean she is sweet and kind on one hand, but then there is another side of her that will incinerate anyone who gets her panties in a wad!Sadly, I seem to fail in the area of my temper over and over again. It is incredibly frustrating to think that I have it under control--and then boom: I have a violent cyclonic storm fly out of me at the speed of light! Of course I always repent afterwards and feel completely ashamed... Case in Point... Since about two months before my little one turned 8, my husband has been acting like she should now be an adult. I mean, he thinks she should no longer need her music box at night, baths, playing with dolls, her blanket, etc. I think he is insane. Did he forget the other one we raised?? These things are gradually let go of...over years of growing and maturing. It does not happen all at once. It is little by little. She is like many 8 year … [Read more...]

“What are you doing?”

It really surprises me how fast my temper can flare up out of virtually nowhere! For instance, the other night, I was trying to do a small project and was really struggling with it. I was extremely frustrated! It got to the point that I was on the verge of tears. My oldest daughter sat quietly on the couch next to me and my husband was on the love seat repeatedly saying; "you can do this. You CAN do this, honey." Now, maybe this was supposed to encourage me, but I was NOT encouraged. I was getting angrier and angrier every time he opened his mouth to 'motivate' me. I literally wanted to sock him!It all became too much and I threw the project across the room...He said; "honey, come on...we can fix this..."I yelled; "NO! I don't want to fix the damn thing!!"...and I turned on him like a viper! (it was kind of like the scene in X-Men 3 where Wolverine tells "phoenix" that the professor can fix her and she vehemently screams, "I don't want to fix it!" And throws him across the room! LOL! Well, I didn't throw 'him' across the room--just the project!)I told him to shut up and if he would just be more helpful instead of chattering every five minutes...MAYBE...I could have completed the task.Yep. I sure did blame him.Insane...I know.But...I did it.After I finished my little hissy fit (all the while he was just looking at me like I lost my mind), I clearly heard the Lord say to me: "What are you doing?" Um....AHHHHHH!I bit my … [Read more...]

Dark Phoenix

My husband is a sci-fi, comic book, star wars type movie lover. So, over the years, I have learned to deal with watching them. Some of them I actually enjoy and others I find dumb. The title of this post comes from an X-Men character. Jean Grey is the original character and she has a very dark side called Phoenix. When she was taken over by this dark force she became a very grumpy gal, and will incinerate you if she feels the urge to. She has quite a nasty temper, ladies...Well...I have a confession. I have an evil twin: Dark Phoenix I can be quite feisty, temperamental and downright grumpy--especially in the morning before coffee.On the flip side; my darling husband is more like Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales: Quirky...happy and he even sings and dances. It annoys me beyond measure at certain times. Especially when he pokes and picks at me--KNOWING that I am weak in the morning and that lovely time of month. There are times that I want to be serious, left alone or just not deal with silliness. His silliness was an endearing quality when we first got together, but over the years, it became a source of annoyance--especially when I choose to give into my Dark Phoenix side. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself–it tends only to evildoing. - Psalm 37:8 (amplified) Yes, I have a weakness. It is called a temper. It is rooted in my past. It was planted in me as a child over years of sexual abuse and emotional neglect. Later, in adulthood it … [Read more...]