Note: I really hope my transparency does not offend or scare any of you! I am just being open and honest in my struggles as a wife who is still BECOMING all that God designed her to be! :)The thing about me and my temper (as far as dealing with my husband) , I can turn on a dime. I mean he just has to say one seemingly innocent comment, and it can trigger a emotional hurricane in me that would scare the most daring of storm chasers! If you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you are aware of my Dark Phoenix side. Honestly, that character in X-Men really does explain what I mean. I mean she is sweet and kind on one hand, but then there is another side of her that will incinerate anyone who gets her panties in a wad!Sadly, I seem to fail in the area of my temper over and over again. It is incredibly frustrating to think that I have it under control--and then boom: I have a violent cyclonic storm fly out of me at the speed of light! Of course I always repent afterwards and feel completely ashamed... Case in Point... Since about two months before my little one turned 8, my husband has been acting like she should now be an adult. I mean, he thinks she should no longer need her music box at night, baths, playing with dolls, her blanket, etc. I think he is insane. Did he forget the other one we raised?? These things are gradually let go of...over years of growing and maturing. It does not happen all at once. It is little by little. She is like many 8 year … [Read more...]
A Violent Storm Arose…
Have you ever felt like your spiritual progression seemed like one step forward and two yards back?? *raising hand* I wish I could just take a pill and boom, I am fully developed and filled with all the fabulous qualities that a good Christian should have. *sigh* Sadly, that is not and never will be the case for this narrow path I am on. It is a journey and I will not be fully developed until I am in Heaven with my Daddy God. Until then, I have to keep pressing on and grow as I learn. I am very thankful that God is patient with me. Lord knows, my hard head can seem impenetrable at times! Case in Point My wonderful husband and I went to church last night and while we were there one of his buddies asked him if he wanted to attend an event with him on Saturday. He hits me with it just as praise and worship is about to start...For some reason it really pissed me off that he was even considering going anywhere with anyone other than family.Sisters, a violent storm arose so quickly in my heart that there was no time to think. All I could do was spew out a quiet, but still vicious, "NO WAY!" We were at church, after all, so I had to be quiet...Yes, it was a quiet, Dark Phoenix type storm, but violent nonetheless.I looked at him and quietly spewed out how thoughtless I thought he was and who does he think he is kind of statements.Yeah, I really leaped back a few yards with this one...Anyway, the music starts... "Thou oh Lord art high, above all the … [Read more...]
“What are you doing?”
It really surprises me how fast my temper can flare up out of virtually nowhere! For instance, the other night, I was trying to do a small project and was really struggling with it. I was extremely frustrated! It got to the point that I was on the verge of tears. My oldest daughter sat quietly on the couch next to me and my husband was on the love seat repeatedly saying; "you can do this. You CAN do this, honey." Now, maybe this was supposed to encourage me, but I was NOT encouraged. I was getting angrier and angrier every time he opened his mouth to 'motivate' me. I literally wanted to sock him!It all became too much and I threw the project across the room...He said; "honey, come on...we can fix this..."I yelled; "NO! I don't want to fix the damn thing!!"...and I turned on him like a viper! (it was kind of like the scene in X-Men 3 where Wolverine tells "phoenix" that the professor can fix her and she vehemently screams, "I don't want to fix it!" And throws him across the room! LOL! Well, I didn't throw 'him' across the room--just the project!)I told him to shut up and if he would just be more helpful instead of chattering every five minutes...MAYBE...I could have completed the task.Yep. I sure did blame him.Insane...I know.But...I did it.After I finished my little hissy fit (all the while he was just looking at me like I lost my mind), I clearly heard the Lord say to me: "What are you doing?" Um....AHHHHHH!I bit my … [Read more...]
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